Is This Normal?

So, I had a full on panic attack last night because I think, for the first time, it dawned on me that I'm having a baby.

I've secretly thought very highly of myself for the last 8 months because I haven't been the slightest bit nervous about having a baby, but that's just not the case anymore. I realized that I don't really know how to hold a baby, much less how to feed one, change a diaper, give her a bath, etc. These may seem like really simple things to most people, but I have never in my life had any experience with babies. I have always been the baby.

And I realized that my mom has a job and she can't come live with me 24 hours a day after my baby comes and on Monday's my husband will leave the apartment at 7:45 in the morning and not come back until 11:00 at night and on the other week days, he'll only be home for a couple of hours during the day.

On Sunday, one of the counselor's in the bishopric asked me if I was ready and I said, "Oh yeah, totally ready," and this old lady walking past said, "It doesn't really matter if you're ready; that baby is coming anyway." And now I'm realizing that she's right.

And since I feel another panic attack coming on right now as I write this, I think I'm going to stop.

I guess I just need to remember that there are girls way stupider than me that have babies and somehow they turn out fine.

At least I'm not nervous for the actual labor and delivery part, but I'm sure that panic attack will come in due time.