Santa Tracker

EJ, Goob and I spent much of the day on Christmas Eve tracking Santa Claus on Google Earth. (Yes, I am still scared of Google Earth, but tracking Santa was so much fun, I just had to allow myself to play on Google Earth for one day).

I stayed up until 12:30 in the morning, hoping to watch him fly in to Utah, but since he was still in Canada and I was tired, I decided to call it a night. Besides, isn't it true that Santa Claus won't come to your house unless you are asleep in your bed? So I guess it's a good thing.

Even though I am technically considered an adult, Santa Claus is still one of my favorite people. Yes, I get made fun of a lot for that, but EJ told me last night that he appreciates my enthusiasm for Christmas and my future children are pretty much going to have the best Christmas's ever, so I can put up with a few people making fun of me. (For those of you who are worried that my children won't know the true meaning of Christmas, don't be. I believe, like Reverend Camden on 7th Heaven that of course the birth of the Savior is the more important thing on Christmas, however, they don't have to be completely separated all the time since Santa Claus also loves all children and represents what is good in the world like love and happiness and peace).

Because Santa Claus is one of my favorite people, I love things that remind me of him like the Rubber Duck Santa Claus and the Santa Claus Ball Stress Toy, both of which would be perfect for any kind of holiday advertisement.

I Can't Live Without Little Caesar's

I think moving is just about the worst thing in the world. The only thing I've done that's more painful is trying to watch the second season of "Lost."

On Friday night, after cleaning for seven straight hours, we finally got to bed at 2:00 AM. Rather than falling asleep soundlessly, I coughed and wheezed for two straight hours because of all the ammonia I sucked in. After finally falling asleep, my alarm went off. I guess I can't complain too much since other people carried all the heavy stuff to the truck while I finished cleaning. Although I think the emotional distress I experienced watching EJ and my little brother carry my piano to the truck and praying they didn't hurt it was even harder than actually having to carry the piano to the truck. Then I sat in the corner of my empty, sterile apartment and cried because life as I knew it would never be the same. I stopped crying when I remembered the mold and the Satan centipedes that infested the apartment, but I started crying again when I realized EJ was not the least bit sentimental about leaving our very first home. Then last night I cried yet again because the Walmart right by our new apartment is scarier than downtown Detroit and the two closest Little Caesars Pizza's shut down.

But the good news is I haven't had to make dinner for five days and I have a good excuse for eating this 19 Piece Assortment of delicious looking chocolate, which any employee would love to receive as a holiday gift.

Peace And Quiet Is Not As Good As It Sounds

About a year ago (or maybe it was longer than that; I don't know) my little brother got sick and had a super raspy voice for a couple of months. Last week, I got my eighth cold in two years and as always happens, my voice got all raspy about the third day of being sick. Usually, the raspiness lasts two, maybe three days, but today is my seventh day being unable to talk normally! The only thing that finally cured my little brother was not talking at all for a week. Since I really don't want to talk this way for the next two months, I am trying to limit how much I speak. It's kind of hard to do at work since I have to answer the phones, but last night I didn't talk at all from about 6:00 PM until I woke up this morning (except for one time while I was watching Gilmore Girls and I couldn't not laugh out loud). EJ said it was the most quiet our apartment has ever been and he insisted on leaving the TV on since the quiet weirded him out.

Luckily, there are products for invalids like myself, like the Hand Clapper and the THUNDERSTIX® Noisemakers.

Isn't Breakfast The Most Important Meal of The Day

This morning EJ told me I was driving him crazy. All I did was spend 10 minutes telling him it is not okay to skip breakfast and lunch. He says that I just have to tell him once, but I think he doesn't get the message unless I tell him at least 14 times.

I once heard that in order to remember something perfectly, you have to hear it at least seven times. But since I'm pretty sure EJ blocks out the things I tell him that he doesn't want to hear, seven times is not enough.

I just want him to live a long and healthy life.

Speaking of living a long and healthy life, there are tons of promotional products that will help you do just that. A couple that I like are the Health Journal that will help you track your exercise and diet and the Healthy Adult Frame of Mind Magnet.

Anyone But Hilary

I get in trouble sometimes for saying this, but I am not ashamed to say that I LOVE George W. Bush. I would elect him president again in a heartbeat if I could. Unfortunately, I can't. I think there are a couple of decent republican candidates, but I'm afraid that the majority of Americans are stupid because they don't understand the war and we're going to be stuck with a democrat in office. I pray every single day that the democrat we get stuck with does not have a name that starts with an "H" and ends with an "ilary."

If enough Americans are stupid enough to walk down that road, I think I might actually consider moving to Canada. And if you read my blog you know that Canada is not my favorite place. Although I do like Queen Elizabeth.

Anyway, there are a vast amount of products that are perfect for the upcoming elections, campaigns, political rallies, etc. A couple of my favorites are the Patriotic Star Slim Mints and the Republican Elephant Stress Toy.

Another Reason I Like Dogs Better Than People

I realized this morning that I have a little bit of road rage (which really isn't suprising considering my anger management issues). I just really don't like stupid people that do stupid things. This morning I got honked at two different times because I stopped at a red light. Is it just me or does a red light mean stop? If the light was green, I would have gone. If the light was yellow, I would have considered going. But since the light was red, I stopped. People are geniuses.

I think that when stupid people get a driver's license, they should also get a Blinking Traffic Light so they can practice which color means stop and which color means go.

Books

I'm reading a really good book right now called Faith Precedes the Miracle by Spencer W. Kimball.

I highly recommend it.

I also recommend imprinting your company logo on books like 9 Steps To Financial Freedom and the Williams-Sonoma Thanksgiving Cookbook.

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Last night, as EJ was trying to convince me to be happy and in a good mood, which is a daily occurance these days, I realized something...

Even though I am well aware of the fact that it is only August, Christmas music makes me really, really happy. So even though my neighbors probably think I'm a freak when they hear me playing Christmas music on my piano and even though my husband thinks I'm a freak when I play my Christmas CD's, I don't care.

Also, EJ got me the Shark Week Anniversary Edition DVD's, which I love! My brother will be super jealous when he finds out.

And High School Musical 2 is on TV this Friday, so life is good.

Barry Bonds

I don't know how I feel about the whole Barry Bonds steroid use thing.

On the one hand, I do think that he obviously has taken steroids and I think it's a bunch of bull that he "unknowingly" took the steroids because his trainer told him it was for arthritis or something. Please. No one is stupid enough to unknowingly take steroids and no one is stupid enough to believe that he unknowingly took steroids. So, with that in mind, all those people who are so critical of him breaking the home run record are probably right in saying he doesn't really deserve it because if players like Hank Aaron or Babe Ruth had taken steroids, they would have hit at least 800 or 900 home runs.

On the other hand, although I know that steroids makes you stronger, steroids can't make you a good athlete and they can't give you skills to know how to hit a ball perfectly. Barry Bonds has always been a really good baseball player and who's to say that he wouldn't have hit enough home runs to break the record anyway?

I would resort to the point that baseball is just a game and home run records aren't really all that important, but I can't say that because I don't think we should teach all the future athletes of the world that taking drugs is okay and that it doesn't really matter that Barry Bonds took steroids. What all these baseball players need to realize is that real men don't need steroids to hit a ball far. And if you really feel the need to take drugs so you can become more famous and make more money, you should re-evaluate your life.

Speaking of baseball, there are some really cool baseball-related promotional items here.

Some Games Are More Fun Than Others

I don't get video games. I get no pleasure out of playing them and if I'm going to waste hours of my life, I would rather watch the first season of The Girls Next Door.

My brother insisted that I play his Cabella's hunting game last weekend. I shot a grizzly bear, but then I got killed by a wolf.

Not cool.

Here are a few games I do get pleasure out of playing:

Gridiron Football Flip Game
Pocket Air Hockey
Travel Battleship Game

One More Thing That Will Have To Wait Until I Have Money

I used to think it wasn't a big deal what kind of kitchen knives you have or how sharp they are (despite the fact that my husband has spent years trying to convince me otherwise), but last week I used a really nice knife at a cabin in Morgan to cut an onion and my onion seriously looked amazing. I guarantee you have never seen a more perfectly cut onion in your entire life. It made me so happy that I decided it does matter what kind of knives you have and how sharp they are. Unfortunately, I am too poor to afford nice knives, so I'll have to stick with the cheap-o ones I have for the next few years.

But someday, I plan on owning a nice set of knives like the Lagioule 6-Piece Steak Knife Set or the Moso Bamboo Steak Knife Set that I can cut perfect onions with. I'll probably become famous; they look that good.

My Favorite Fish

Okay, so I'm a bit of a freak, but I really, really, really like sharks. Not in just the way that I think they're cool and I like to learn about them, but in a way that I want to get attacked by one. A big one. A 24-foot Great White shark. I don't want to die or anything, I just want a few cool scars, an interesting story to tell and the satisfaction of knowing that I gouged a shark in the eye and saved myself from being eaten by it.

For me, Shark Week on the Discovery Channel is like Christmas. I LOVE it. Last night, EJ and I watched a documentary about the USS Indianapolis in World War II; the ship was bombed and sunk and there were hundreds of sharks circling the men in the water for days and some of them got attacked and eaten. I think it's really sad, but also kind of cool.

The Shark Stress Toy would be a perfect promotional product to advertise events like Shark Week.

You Can't Be Good At Everything

When I was younger, I used to hate going to swimming lessons every summer because I was so bad at it. My little brother would always be two or three classes ahead of me with older kids and I would always be in classes with kids two or three years younger than me. And sadly, I was still one of the worst swimmers in the class. I finally reached a point where I was so embarrassed and I felt so much older than everyone, that I just called my swimming ability good enough and was done.

Since then, I've had tons of negative experiences with water, like the time I almost drowned at Raging Waters in the wave pool, the time I almost drowned river rafting and was convinced that both of my parents were going to die as well, the time I jumped off the high dive to impress a cute boy and landed in a sitting down position and bruised the entire back of my legs, the time I twisted my knee really bad while attempting to waterski and finally, the time four years ago when I let my family convince me to jump off the super high dive and I, once again, landed in a sitting down position and not only bruised the entire back of my legs, but also broke my tail bone and cried every time I sat down for a month.

Somehow, despite the fact that swimming isn't at all my thing, I love swimming and I would do it every single day if I could.

Some best-selling beach and pool promotional products are the Inflatable Dolphin Pool Rider, the Beach Front Chair and the Beach Towel in a Bag.

My Trip

EJ and I are going on a short trip at the end of the week and we are super excited. We're not leaving the state, which is why I can't call it a vacation, but we are leaving our apartment for four whole days, which is longer than our honeymoon was. (Sad, I know; please feel sorry for me because it makes me feel good).

The only bad thing about this trip is that since EJ's whole family will be staying in one cabin with four rooms, and since I have no children, which means I haven't brought any grandchildren into the world, which means I am not one of the favorites and therefore, not one of the chosen ones who gets to have their own room, we'll probably be sleeping on the floor. But since I can't sleep well anywhere but in my own bed anyway, it really doesn't matter that I'll be sleeping on the floor. Plus, I'll only have to make dinner one of those nights, which is definitely a huge bonus.

I've been thinking about some must-have items that I'll need for my trip that would also be really cool promotional products every employee should give to their customers, like:

Standard Pillow Case
Executive Book Light (I'll definitely need one of these since Harry Potter comes out on Saturday and I probably won't be able to put it down)
Excel Utility Kit

Rabbit Is A Weird Word

There's a couple in my ward who have a pet rabbit. But not just any pet rabbit; a house-trained rabbit that walks around and jumps on the furniture and goes to the bathroom in a litter box.

Now, I am a huge dis-liker (is that a word?) of cats, but at least cats walking around your house and jumping on the furniture and going to the bathroom in a litter box is normal. How many times have you been at someone's house and seen a rabbit jump up on the couch and have the family that lives in the house not be the least bit startled?

I don't necessarily consider myself to be a totally normal person, but that's beyond weird.

Luckily, there are promotional products for everyone, including rabbit lovers. Some of my favorites are the Bunny Rabbit Ball Stress Toy and the Rabbit Kitchen Timer.

Speaking of rabbits, one of my favorite stories is about a little boy in my home ward. A few years ago, when he was 3 or 4, he thought it would be really fun if he and his family's two pet rabbits jumped on the trampoline together. So when his mom wasn't watching, he put one rabbit under each arm and jumped on the trampoline with them. Needless to say, the rabbits no longer bring joy to the family.

My Piano

A while ago, EJ and I bought a beautiful piano from a family we found in the classifieds that was moving and planning to buy a new piano. It was built in the 40s and although parts of it are pretty scratched up and there is a small crack in the soundboard, we got an amazing deal on it. Even though I plan on buying a brand new Yamaha some time in the next 10 years, I love my piano so much I don't know if I'll ever be willing to sell it (despite the fact that the owner of the Piano Gallery told me I could sell it for a lot of money and if we take really good care of it, it'll be worth even more in 10 years).

EJ is determined to restore the piano and make it look and sound even better than it already does. He read an entire thick book about piano restoration (which is amazing if you know my husband and know that reading is his least favorite thing to do, unless what he's reading has to do with cars or bikes). He loves to open the piano up and tell me all of his big plans, some of which he has already started to do. Every time I start to freak out and tell him he's going to destroy my beautiful piano, he makes me stop and tell him how good he is at fixing things (which he actually really is).

Ever since we got the piano, I've been begging EJ to let me teach him how to play and he's always told me he isn't interested. But last night, he actually told me he wants to learn some easy songs and he's willing to let me give him piano lessons.

I seriously think that a tear rolled down my face.

Whether you are a piano teacher, a piano tuner or if you restore old pianos, there are several piano-related promotional products you can print your company name on. A few of my favorites are the Piano Pencil, the Brass Piano Clock and the Baby Grand Piano Musical Alarm Clock.

One of My Favorite Holidays

Happy 4th of July!

Reason #38 I Hate Hot Weather

So, I tried to be a supportive wife this weekend and it totally backfired. EJ is playing intramural softball with the boys in our ward (he's the pitcher and he's really good), so despite my hatred of sitting in the sun, I took our fold-up camping chair and I went and watched him.

It didn't even occur to me that I have super pale skin and I go home with a scorching sunburn after being in the sun for five minutes. This time was no exception. My face and my arms got a decent burn, but they were nothing compared to the six inches in diameter I got on each leg. Two days later, I can barely walk without crying, not to mention the fact that I got no sleep the last two nights because every time I moved, I woke up in horrible pain.

When we got home, EJ tried to convince me to put some aloe vera gel on my legs, which I refused to do and to take some Advil, which I also refused to do. I refused to use aloe vera because since every time I use it, my sunburn gets a million times worse and starts blistering, I'm pretty sure I'm either allergic or aloe vera hates me. I refused to take Advil because the container says that you shouldn't take Advil for more than 10 days in a row and it seems like I take Advil for something every single day lately. Plus, I just like to be difficult.

So, the moral of this story is: if you really care about your customers and employees, you'll give them the Sun Pack Gift Set complete with an SPF 15 lip balm, sunscreen, aloe vera gel and lotion, and you'll encourage them to actually use it. This especially applies to those customers and employees, like myself, who are hypochondriacs and are convinced they are going to get skin cancer and die a painful death.

Signs Point To Yes

I once saw a guy in the testing center at BYU take a Magic 8 Ball out of his backpack before his test. When he read the questions and decided on an answer, he would ask the Magic 8 Ball if that was the right answer. If it said yes, he would put that as the answer; if it said no, he would choose something else.

Actually, I never saw that happen. But I do have a friend who saw it happen. Or maybe it was my friend's friend's friend. Or maybe it's an urban legend and it never happened at all. That's probably the most likely. Since you can't even take a test with facial hair, I doubt they would let you take one with a Magic 8 Ball. But it is a good story.

So although no one I know has ever used a Magic 8 Ball to take a test, Magic 8 Ball's and other decision makers are very useful toys. Like, once in high school, I asked the Magic 8 Ball if I would ever get married. It said, "Signs point to yes," and I never worried about never getting married again. Although, I also asked it if I was going to marry Spencer Whitlock and if I remember correctly, it said, "Definitely." I think that's the one time the Magic 8 Ball was wrong.

(Side Note: When my brother got home from his mission, he brought me a Magic 8 Ball in French, which was great because since I speak very little French, the answers could be whatever I wanted them to be).

There are lots of cool decision makers available in the promotional products industry. A few of my favorites are:

Magic Answer Ball
Mystical Orb Fortune Balls
Magnetic Darts & Decision Maker

Disposable Cameras

I just finished reading a really good book called Junie B. Jones, First Grader: Aloha-ha-ha. (Even though Junie B. Jones is on about a first grade reading level, it's one of my favorite series because every book is 45 minutes of non-stop laughter).

In the book, Junie B. goes to Hawaii with her parents. Before she leaves, her first grade teacher, Mr. Scary, gives her a notebook and a disposable camera and gives her an assignment to keep a photo journal of every day she is in Hawaii. After initially telling Mr. Scary that the words 'Hawaii' and 'assignment' don't go together, Junie B. is very excited about her new camera.

I know that we live in a world full of digital cameras, which I love, but I think that a custom disposable camera is actually a really cool promotional product. Maybe adults wouldn't get overly excited about one, but it would be a really good idea for promotions involving younger kids like for schools or sports teams.

Keychains

I've always had this thing for cool keychains and every time I go somewhere I've never been before, I'm on the lookout for a unique one.

I really believe that you can tell a lot about a person by looking at the their keys and their key chain. For example, I used to have a BYU football keychain until it broke. Now I have a little wooden baseball that I got at Fenway and an m&m keychain from M&M World in Las Vegas. If you knew anything about me, you would know that these keychains totally fit my personality.

My dad has had the same keychain for years. It's a plastic weaved thing that for the life of me, I cannot remember the name of right now, but the point is that it's something I made for him when I was in elementary school and he has used it ever since (which makes me feel really good about myself and I think is yet another piece of evidence that I am his favorite child).

There are some really cool keychains available in the promotional products industry that may not necessarily scream 'professional,' but who needs professional 100% of the time?

Rubber Duck Key Chain
Aluminum Skateboard Key Chain
Mini Magic Answer Ball Key Holder
Etch-A-Sketch Keychain

Yet Another Reason I Love My Husband

When we went on our honeymoon a couple years ago, I told my husband that we had to get a souvenir from our hotel (the Excalibar in Las Vegas). Since my husband is one of the most frugal (AKA cheapest) people that has ever existed, he decided it had to be an inexpensive souvenir.

I told my husband he could choose the souvenir and I hinted several times that I wanted the little miniature knight in shining armor (not for any cheesy reason like EJ is my knight in shining armor; that's stupid). It was just so cute and little. After narrowing down all the possibilities, my wonderful husband that I love so much chose....a letter opener. Yes. A letter opener. It was a cool letter opener shaped like a sword, but it was a letter opener.

It's true. The one and only souvenir I have from my honeymoon is a letter opener. But in EJ's defense, it works amazingly well and I have since become a believer that letter openers are pretty cool things.

Everyone could use a handy letter opener imprinted with a company logo like the Gold Letter Opener or the Deskmate Letter Opener, but if your wife ever asks you to choose a fun souvenir from your hotel, pick something else.

Car Organizers

I have a bad habit of being a slob. I think it's in my nature because no matter how hard I try and no matter how well I do at being clean for a short time, I always go back to being a slob.

My car is no exception to my slobness (although, I will say that my car looks amazing compared to my little brother's). Somehow I always manage to pile trash and receipts and old papers on the passenger-side floor. My father-in-law always feels the need (which I don't mind AT ALL) to clean out and vacuum my car every time we visit. Much to my dismay, during our last visit he told me that no matter how hard he tries, the melted gummy bears in the little space on the door are just not going to come out. Oh well.

There are some really cool promotional car organizers that I'm pretty sure would be a great thing for me to invest in:

Case Logic Door Pocket Organizer
Case Logic Front Seat Mobile Office
Trunk Caddy

Speaking of car trunks, for some reason my husband hadn't opened the trunk of his car for over a year. He finally opened it the other day and he found his favorite t-shirt that he thought he had lost and a pair of pants he loves that he was positive I had stolen and destroyed because I don't like them. I made him apologize to me profusely for accusing me of such a horrible thing for the last year and a half.

Knives

My husband has this thing with knives. Every time I need to open something like a box or an envelope and I try to use scissors or a kitchen knife, he pulls out his fancy knife and uses it to open the package.

Once, he had this long hair on his face that he had missed shaving and I walked past the bathroom and saw him holding this knife by his face and I freaked out. He can't use a razor like a normal person; he has to use his fancy knife.

Every time I see a knife in the promotional products industry, I think of my husband and whether or not he would like it. I have found a few that, if he knew about, I think he would insist on having:

Expedition Knife
Accent Knife
Zippo Antique Brown Peanut Knife

It's true; my husband's a weirdo.

Health Insurance Companies = Evil

I decided yesterday that health insurance is evil. Actually, not health insurance itself, but health insurance companies. Particulary, a health insurance company that recently changed its name (I won't come right out and say it, but here's a clue: the name of this company used to start with an "I" and end with an H.C.").

Health insurance is one of those things that is a necessary evil, like war and Oprah. They steal all your hard-earned money and when it comes time for them to help you out, they refuse. They refuse to pay unless you can prove to them that the tests you had done were "medically necessary". Why in the world would a doctor run tests unless they were "medically necessary?!" Not cool.

I know there are some things you have to go to the doctor for, but from now on I am eating an apple every single day (I actually already do that) and taking care of all health-related ailments myself. All I need is a Stay-Healthy First Aid Kit and an Ultimate First Aid Station.

Although neither of those will help me with my current situation, I still think they're a good idea.

MP3 Players

My husband and I are so in love with my little brother's 30GB iPod that we have decided to finally purchase an mp3 player (for my birthday next month). I know we're a little behind the times, but as my brother said to me just yesterday, we refuse to be ruled by technology.

Since 30GB is a little above our budget, after hours and hours of research, we have finally decided on a SanDisk Sansa e280, which is 8GB and has a slot for a 2GB memory card, so it's actually a 10GB mp3 player. It actually has better reviews than both iPod's and Creative's and because the name isn't as popular, it's quite a bit cheaper.

My husband refuses to buy an iPod because he hates Apple. The only reason I would buy an iPod Nano is because it has such cute colors, but since I can buy a pink protective cover for my SanDisk, I'm happy with that. Plus, with the SanDisk, you can record songs directly from the radio, which means I can record the Salt Lake version of "Hey There, Delilah," by the Plain White T's (instead of saying 'New York City,' they say, 'Salt Lake City' and instead of saying 'Times Square,' they say, 'Temple Square'; they can't make the Salt Lake City version available for download anywhere because of copyright laws or something).

MP3 players, imprinted with a company logo, are also available in the promotional products industry:

Slimline MP3 Player V.2.0
Spin MP3 Player
iPod Nano

Promotional Products

Last night, as I was happily re-watching the season finale of "The Office," I was thinking about all the products that are constantly shown on the show that would make awesome promotional products. Two of my favorites are the Dwight bobblehead and the "World's Best Boss" mug.

Basic White Mug

Custom Bobblehead

By the way, what's up with Ryan getting the corporate job? He's never even made a sale.

Calculators

I know that I am admitting to being a complete freak when I say this, but it has always been one of my dreams to own one of those fancy calculators that prints what you type on to a receipt.

My friend, Carrie, got one for Christmas when we were in elementary school and I was so jealous. Luckily, she was a really good friend and she would let me use it sometimes.

Again, I know I'm a total weirdo, but I love calculators. For some reason, I have always loved typing numbers, but ironically, I've never had a data entry job. Some of the most unique calculators I have found in the promotional products industry are:

Hip Clip Calculator
Jumbo Desk Calculator
Jumeaux Calculator and Business Card Holder

I just decided that I'm going to buy myself a fancy printing calculator for my birthday next month. I've been wanting one for like 18 years and I totally deserve it.

Swimming

Memorial Day is one of my favorite holidays for one very specific reason: it is the day that most swimming pools open.

I'm not lucky enough to have a pool of my own, so I have to depend on community pools. Every summer when I was growing up, we went on a family vacation. I didn't care where we went or what we did, as long as we stayed at a hotel with a swimming pool. There was one summer during college that I went swimming every single day.

My husband thinks I'm crazy because I love swimming so much. I have to force him to go with me and he can't handle swimming longer than an hour. We made a deal that, someday, if I get a swimming pool with a dunk tank, he can get a motorcycle. I think motorcycles are stupid, but if I have a pool, I don't care.

I am so looking forward to this weekend so I can grab my Aqua Skimmer and my flip-flops and find a pool!

Sudoku

We have a ward newsletter that we get during church once a month. There's always a Sudoku puzzle in it, which really isn't a good idea because I think 97% of the boys in my ward spend Sunday School doing the puzzle. (My husband is included in that 97%).

I've never been a fan of video games because, to put it nicely, I think they make you stupid. However, I think Sudoku is great. I know that some people would argue there is no difference between an Electronic Sudoku Game and video games, but those people are wrong. There is a difference.

Sudoku makes you smarter because you actually have to use your brain to figure out what numbers go where. I will admit that it can be addictive and waste a lot of time, but at least it's time spent using your brain.

Right? Right.

And So It Begins...

With the exception of hairy spiders, I've never really been afraid of bugs/little things that crawl or fly. That is, I've never really been afraid of bugs/little things that crawl or fly up until two years ago.

Two years ago I discovered a bug that makes me want to vomit every time I see one. And unfortunatly, I see one at least every other day during the months of May-October. This morning I had my first encounter of the year.

I live in an apartment that is quite nice by married housing standards in the college town I live in. When I first got married and snagged this apartment, I was so excited and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to get such a nice apartment for such a great deal. And then a few days after I moved in, I realized that I really was not so lucky because there are Satan bugs (AKA house centipedes) that call my beautiful apartment their home.

I wouldn't mind so much if the Satan bugs wanted to crawl across the floor every once in a while, but crawling across the floor isn't good enough for them. They have to crawl around my dishwasher and do who-knows-what all over my newly cleaned dishes and they have to crawl all around my towels in the bathroom and hide in the folds until I get out of the shower and discover them crawling up my arm. Being a slow, little Satan bug isn't good enough for them either. Instead, they have to be two inches long and super fast. They're disgusting and even my manly husband who isn't afraid of anything freaks out when he sees one.

I believe that every person who lives in or gets near my apartment should be armed with a durable flyswatter or a water gun filled with poison.

I Hope I Wasn't Abducted By Aliens

One summer, when I was in middle school, I went camping for a few days and when I came home, I was looking in the mirror at myself and I knew there was something really weird about my face. I couldn't quite place my finger on it, but there was something abnormal about the way I looked. (Before my brothers leave a bunch of rude comments, I'm talking about there being something different than the way I usually looked, not just that my face in general is weird; I'm much more attractive than all five of you).

After staring at myself for like 10 minutes, I finally gave up on figuring out what it was that was weird and started to walk away. Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced back in the mirror and I realized that my forehead was sticking out an inch. That is no exaggeration; my forehead was seriously sticking out an inch. I looked like some weird alien person on Star Trek.

I freaked out and was positive that I was dying a very slow, soon-to-be painful, death, until my mom assured me that it was probably some weird, hopefully non-permenant, reaction to a bug bite. My little brother was sure that I had somehow been abducted by aliens and the thing in my forehead was an alien's baby.

I could make this story very long and dramatic, but to make it a little shorter, whatever it was that was in my forehead slowly moved down my face (making me look several different ethnicities) and was gone after two weeks.

I still have no idea what bit me or if I was actually abducted by aliens, but next time I go camping, I'm taking a stellar outdoor survival kit.

It's Sad, But True

I've been thinking a lot about this and I've come to a conclusion:

I think I like dogs better than people.

Of course there are certain people that I would choose over a dog like my husband, my family, my good friends and the prophet, but I really think that, in general, I prefer dogs to humans.

These are just a few reasons why:

1. A lot of times when I'm out somewhere, I see people from a distance (some that I know and some that I've never seen before) and I try as hard as I possibly can to avoid them. But when I see a dog from a distance, I will go through any obstacle I have to go through to see the dog and to say hi to it.

2. Dogs love me. Pretty much every time I even look at a baby, it starts crying. But when I go up to a dog, 99% of the time, their tail starts wagging and they want to jump on me and lick me.

3. There are a decent amount of people that scare me, but besides the evil, possessed Dobermans that lived next door to me most of my childhood, I have never been afraid of a dog.

4. I have lived with many, many people and I am totally disgusted when someone leaves their hair in the drain or doesn't cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze. But when my dog sheds his hair all over every piece of clothing I own and slobbers on me, I don't mind at all.

5. When I see someone out walking their dog or when I go to their house, even when it's someone I know and like, I would way rather hang out with the dog than the owner of the dog.

6. I've actually been really good about this the last couple years, but sometimes I forget people's birthdays until a day or two after their birthday has passed. But I spend weeks planning what I'm going to buy or make my dog for his birthday. I'm pretty sure the only reason I remember my brother's birthday is because it's the same day as my dogs'.

7. I spend way more time thinking about my future dog than my future children.

8. Deciding who to marry was pretty easy, but trying to decide if I should get a Mastiff or a Black Lab first has caused huge levels of stress for me.

Things That Cause Stress

There are two kinds of people in this world that I really don't enjoy:

1. People who work for the United States Postal Service.
2. People who stop or go really slow on the freeway just to look at an accident.

Both of these kinds of people cause great stress and mental anguish for nice, good, innocent people, like myself.

Yesterday, I was expecting a package from Amazon.com (the fact that Amazon sends things by mail instead of UPS is their one HUGE downfall). I tracked the package and saw that the mailman (who is new and very incompetent) had "supposedly" tried to find my apartment and had decided that my apartment didn't exist, so he sent the package back to Amazon.

I have had packages delivered to me dozens of times before and I was a bit confused as to how if there are just letters and paper mail for me, my address does exist, but if there is a package with the exact same address that is on all my mail, somehow my address doesn't exist.

So, I called the post office and told them the situation and told them exactly what the tracking number on my Amazon.com account said and the guy at the post office said to me, "I don't know where you are getting this information from. I think you're making it up." So, I proceeded to tell him that I don't appreciate him calling me a liar and I think he's a jerk. He told me he couldn't help me with anything and that I should stop making up stories.

I left an unkind note in my mailbox this morning that I'm hoping will make my mailman feel stupid, but since it's a requirement that in order to work for USPS you have to be a horrible person, he'll probably laugh and put all my mail in different mailboxes.

And people who stop to look at accidents and cause stop-and-go traffic are just annoying. Most of them probably work for the United States Postal Service.

The Sleep Cycle

Most nights it takes me a decent amount of time to fall asleep. My husband gets frustrated with me because since I can't sleep, I get bored and I think he should stay awake to keep me company. Then I get frustrated because he falls asleep while I'm in the middle of telling him a story. So I get mad and I wake him up and he gets mad, not because I woke him up, but because I'm mad and he thinks that because I'm mad, it will take an even longer time for me to fall asleep. Then, while he starts listing off all the reasons that it's important for me to calm down and go to sleep, he falls asleep and the cycle starts all over again. Sometime, in the middle of all the drama, I fall asleep and everyone wakes up happy.

I've tried a lot of things to help me fall asleep faster like a sleep mask, a CD with calm music, and a more comfortable pillow. Once, I even resorted to taking an herbal sleep medication, which is something I will never do again and the story about the time I took an herbal sleep medication is a story my little brother told me I shouldn't tell people, so I won't on this blog.

I always come close to falling asleep when someone talks to me about mutual funds, stocks, physics or Lost, so maybe I'll have my husband tell me a story about how during a conversation about physics, all the characters on Lost decided to put all their money in to stocks and mutual funds. Then I'll sleep like a baby.

Why I Love The Nickelcade

Even though I really, really, really hate video games, I love going to the Nickelcade. The reason I love going to the Nickelcade is because they have two things there that I love: Dance Dance Revolution and Air Hockey.

If anyone has ever met me, they know that dancing is not one of my talents and that coordination is something I lack. (My husband once told me that I remind him of Elaine on Seinfeld, who is known for her less than stellar dance moves). Provo is a place where "dance parties" are abundant and after attending several of these dance parties because there isn't a whole lot else to do in Provo, I came to the realization that most people look really stupid when they dance and dancing in general is pretty stupid, so why not enjoy it? Now I LOVE Dance Dance Revolution and since my little brother has his own DDR set, I can even convince my husband to do it with me every once in a while.

While dancing is not on my list of talents, Air Hockey is at the top of my list of talents. I usually downplay the few talents I have, but I am so good at Air Hockey that there really is no point in just saying I'm decent or pretty good. I'm awesome. I rock. I'm like the Michael Jordan of Air Hockey. My husband thinks he's beat me a few times, but the truth is that I let him win. His ego is bruised when he gets beat by a girl, so for the sake of our marriage, I throw a game every once in a while. I really am that good.

I Love Wheat

In the last couple of years I have become almost obsessed with all things wheat. I LOVE wheat bread, wheat pasta and wheat tortillas. I even found wheat stuffing a couple months ago. All I need is wheat Premium salt crackers and I'll be set for life.

About five months ago, I got sick of all the bread at the store and I decided to make my own wheat bread. I found a really good recipe on the internet that called for things they don't sell at the grocery store, so I forced myself to go to the scary weird health food store, which was definitely an interesting experience. I wasn't sure if wheat gluten was the same as gluten flour, so I asked someone at the customer service desk. The girl at the desk actually said to me, "I don't have authority to answer that question. Let me call one of our Nature Specialists to help you." Then this girl, who if I wasn't in Provo I would really have thought was high, came over. She was wearing a bandanna and crocs and no make-up and she was definitely special. After some spiel about how great her knowledge of nature and health is, I asked her if wheat gluten is the same thing as gluten flour. She stared at me for about a minute straight and finally said, "I don't know." Then she walked off.

(In case you're wondering, I went home and did my own research and wheat gluten is the same thing as gluten flour).

Now I make homemade bread twice a month and when I have to go back to the health food store, I know exactly what I need, so I don't have to talk to any wacky Nature Specialists, who apparently know nothing about nature or health anyway.

I Need A Vacation

My husband and I made a deal that if I can get him an internship with Chip Foose in a year or two, then I get to go on a vacation (an inexpensive one, of course).

As far as we know, Chip Foose doesn't even offer an internship, so I have one year to write the most incredible and persuasive letter that has ever been written.

In the meantime, I'll be planning our trip. Unfortunately, Hawaii is out of our budget, but maybe I can sit on the beach in California and pretend I'm in Hawaii.

Wedding Videos and Digital Picture Frames

My very favorite thing about my wedding (besides the Fuddruckers-catered luncheon) was my wedding video. It was money well spent. I love photo montages that show pictures of the bride and groom as they grow up and then pictures of them together.

There was a lady, who was in her 20s, that lived across the street from me when I was a teenager. We were pretty good friends and once she invited me and some friends over and we watched her wedding video. I thought it was the greatest thing I had ever seen and I decided I had to have one of my own when I got married.

Every once in a while, I say to my husband, "Guess what we're going to do tonight?" He gets really excited because he thinks it's going to be something fun and when I tell him we're going to watch our wedding video, he rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever." Then I force him to sit next to me on the couch and endure all my "Awwww's" and "You're so sweet's."

Needless to say, I think digital photo frame's are the coolest thing ever. Instead of choosing your very favorite picture to display, you can choose your very favorite 500 pictures to display. I'm trying to convince my husband that it's something we need, one step above a Jeep Wranger and one step below a Sea World vacation.

I Know I'm Obsessed

So I know that I just blogged about The Bachelor and that I even made fun of it, but after last night's episode, I am once again in love with the show. It's times like these that I miss my friend Brienne because she is one of the few people I know who appreciates this great, great show.

This season is the best Bachelor ever and I'll tell you why. There are still six girls left and every single one of them is nice. (I'm turning into my mother; I have no patience with or interest in mean people). He got rid of the last raunchy girl last night. Every single season of The Bachelor, with the exception of last season, has been between a nice girl and a stuck-up, gossipy, mean girl in the end.

That is why this Bachelor is going to work. The bachelor is a nice, decent person and he's going to choose a nice, decent girl. My prediction is that he's going to give the final rose to Tessa.

I love it!

Shamu

When I was a little girl, Shamu spit on me. I don't remember a whole lot about the day, but I do remember very clearly that I was happily enjoying the Shamu show and then the huge killer whale came right up to the glass, jumped up and spit on me.

I cried.

I'm not sure why it upset me so much because now I would do anything to have Shamu spit on me. I made my husband promise me that as soon as he's done with school and has a real job and we ideally have a kid or two, that we'll take a vacation to Sea World. Not so much for the children; mostly for me.

(Speaking of me enjoying little kid things, last week I bought my tickets to High School Musical on Ice for my husband and me. A few days later, Disney sent me an email to take a survey; they wanted to know about the kind of kids that were going to the show, male or female, ages, etc. I laughed as I took the survey because there wasn't an option on any of the questions that you weren't taking any kids with you to the show. I guess they don't realize that there are people, like myself, in their 20's who don't have children, but are in love with High School Musical).

I don't think my husband is nearly as excited for High School Musical on Ice and Sea World as I am.

The Jelly Belly Fan Club

I have a brother who loves Jelly Belly's. He actually started a Jelly Belly Fan Club when we were in elementary school. The amazing part is that he actually got quite a few people to join.
I don't really remember exactly what joining the Jelly Belly Fan Club entailed, but I think they had a Jelly Belly flavor of the week or something.

My favorite flavor of Jelly Belly's has always been Root Beer. There was one time when I mistakenly thought my brother was being nice to me because he gave me a big handful of what looked like and what he told me was Root Beer Jelly Belly's. I put the entire handful in my mouth and realized they were actually coffee-flavored. I think I threw up in the kitchen sink as my brother laughed at me.

Some of the most amazing things I have ever tasted in my life are Jelly Belly's Bernie Bott's Every Flavor Beans (made for Harry Potter). Amazing, not because they taste amazing, but because they are so disgusting and taste so much like the flavor they are. The nastiest ones are Sardines and Black Pepper. I don't know what this says about me, but I actually really love the Booger-flavored ones.

The Prom Date

My husband likes to make fun of the boys I went on dates with in high school. His favorite, meaning the one he likes to make fun of the most, is the boy who took me to Prom. It doesn't seem to deter him when I tell him this boy was one of the most popular boys in school and every girl had a crush on him. And he laughs his head off when I tell him "Now And Forever" (the prom theme) will always be my favorite song.

I think I still have the wine glass with the theme and date printed on it that we got for going to the prom. I think I'll keep it to taunt my husband for many years to come. (There are so many uses for promotional products).

This was my favorite part of our most recent conversation about people we dated in high school:

Me: I wish I had known you in high school. I totally would have dated you.
EJ: No, you wouldn't have.
Me: EJ, just because a boy is shy doesn't mean girls don't want to date them.
EJ: You still wouldn't have dated me.
Me: Why?
EJ: I was fat.

I laughed for like an hour.

Death To "The Nutcracker"

I enjoy the majority of music written by Tchaikovsky, but I despise music from The Nutcracker. So, so much. Even more than I hate cleaning. Whenever I hear it, I turn it off immediately and if it isn't possible to turn it off immediately, I run out of the room with my ears covered. I seriously start to get vomity.

I don't consider myself any sort of musical genius or anything, but I think I'm a fairly good piano player. I've been playing the piano for so long that I really don't get very nervous when I play, even in front of large groups of people. Because I don't get super nervous, as long as I practice the song enough, I don't usually make many mistakes (at least not big ones that people would notice). When I used to take piano lessons, I would actually look forward to recitals and performing in front of people.

However, there was one year around Christmas time, I believe I was in 9th or 10th grade, that I had a horrible experience that caused me to associate The Nutcracker with excruciating pain. I had a soccer game right before my piano recital, so by the time I arrived at the recital, I was late and sweaty and flustered. I had to play my song, which was titled The Nutcracker Medley, about 20 seconds after I arrived. To make a long story short, my performance was so bad that even my mom couldn't tell me it wasn't as horrible as I thought it was. By the time I finished the song, I'm pretty sure I was crying and I sobbed hysterically as I ran out of the room, but not before I told my piano teacher that I was never playing the piano again. (It's true; I'm about as dramatic as it's possible to be).

Luckily, I had a piano teacher whose self-worth is also determined by how well she plays the piano, so she completely understood and gave me a week off before I calmed down and went back to piano lessons.

But to this day, I honestly can't listen to music from The Nutcracker without feeling like someone punched me in the stomach.

"No Shoes, No Service" Should Really Be Enforced

There are a lot of things in this world that I think are gross, but one thing I find particulary disgusting is when people walk around outside and in public places barefoot (and when they let their little kids walk around barefoot).

My husband will attest to the fact that I don't make sly comments and judge people who have weird hair, who dress in wizard robes, who wear really tight, revealing, way too small clothes when they really just shouldn't or who belong to the sword-fighting club that practices at the park by my apartment, but when I see a person of any age walking around any place besides a house or their yard without shoes on, I immediately form an opinion of that person. And the opinion that I form is not good.

Just this morning, as I was driving to work, I saw some guy driving his scooter barefoot. Then when we stopped at a red light, he put his bare feet on the road. I gave him a dirty look to match his dirty feet. How can people not think that is nasty?!

If I had a pair of one of the socks or sandals offered by American Promotions, I definitely would have thrown them at him.

Doctors

I enjoy watching medical shows. Not the real stuff like on the Discovery Channel; that makes me sick. I'm talking about medical dramas that have fake surgeries and romance like "Grey's Anatomy." (Great, great show).

My husband isn't quite as big a fan of these type of shows because almost every Thursday night as we're going to bed, I try to convince him that I have some type of rare disease. (I'll admit that I have a very minor self-diagnosed condition of hypochondria). A couple of weeks ago, I was positive I had a tumor, but I was sure that Dr. McDreamy, or someone equally as charming, could save me. My husband had to remind me that Patrick Dempsey isn't actually a doctor and if I was dying, he couldn't do a thing to save me.

I'm sure that if Patrick Dempsey was a real doctor, he would get all of his promotional items like scrubs and retractable badge holders from me.

Chocoholic

I am what you would call a chocoholic. Every time I buy a bag of m&m's, they're gone within a couple of days. Every few weeks, I buy a couple of Symphony candy bars with the almonds and toffee and my intent is to have them last at least a week, but they usually only last for about three hours. And, of course, I have to buy candy for every holiday because chocolate that's wrapped in holiday colors tastes better, somehow.

(This is probably why no matter how many workout videos I do or how long I run, I don't lose weight. Ever. Oh well. There are worse things in life).

Chocolate makes a great promotional product because only people who are really weird don't like chocolate. I would suggest some Ghirardelli Chocolate Squares or some Chocolate Golf Balls.

Feet

Some people in my family have gross feet.

(FYI: I am not one of those people. I was just discussing how beautiful my and her feet are with my 4-year old niece yesterday; it's quite possibly my best attribute).

I won't name any names, but I know of one family member who actually rubbed a hole in a new pair of sheets with his dry, flaky, cut-up feet. His wife, who is a member of my family by marriage and, therefore, is not cursed with gross feet, was not happy.

I once heard somewhere that your feet are the part of your body that are treated the worst. People insist on wearing high heels, which is just about the worst thing you can do, and they wear flip flops and sandals all day long, which supposedly is really bad for your feet, but when your feet are really pretty it just seems wrong to wear shoes and socks every day.

If you are like me and are going to keep wearing flip flops no matter how bad it is for your feet or if you are like people in my family and have gross feet, there are some promotional products that can help like the Deluxe Feet Treat Kit or the Foot Soak Salts.

Dodgeball

One of my favorite games in elementary school was dodgeball. I used to think it was only played in elementary school, but there are actually several colleges that have intramural dodgeball and even dodgeball teams at a club level. I think that's hilarious!

In Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, we learn that "if you're going to become a true dodgeballer, you've got to learn the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge." Some of my favorite official dodgeball strategies are:

• Fake 'Out' : A player sits down on the ground. Teammates of the other side assume that the player is 'out' and run past him. As soon as the targeted opposer runs past him, the trickster sits back up and hits him with their ball, catching them completely off guard.
• Bait-ball: One team member lobs a ball up in the air to distract the other team, while a second team member throws a ball at normal speed in hopes of getting someone out. The name refers to the first ball's status as bait to lure the team's focus away from the second ball. One player can try to throw both the bait and kill balls, but this is less effective.
• Tip Flick: This requires three to four players. One player, the setter, holds two 5" balls. Two players stand behind the setter. The setter then throws the balls in the air as the two behind run up, grab the balls in the air and throw them at the opposing side. A fourth player can be added to block for the setter.
• Psych-out: For this strategy a player feints having a ball behind his back, and at an opportunistic time will pretend to throw the "ball." While what this accomplishes is often debated, a well timed/executed psych-out will generally cause an opposing player to hesitate or cancel a throw, as well as serve as a distraction.

I think Hank Azaria said it best in Dodgeball when he said, "Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion and degredation."

My Dream Car (As Of Right Now)

I'm trying to convince my husband that we need a Jeep Wrangler. Not an ugly 4-door, but the original Jeep Wrangler. I don't know if it's because Lorelai drives one in "Gilmore Girls" or what, but I think they're rad.

One of our cars is a piece of trash Chevy Lumina that my husband bought for super cheap and he's planning to sell it, hopefully this summer, for a lot more than he bought it for. Then maybe we can get a Jeep!

In the meantime, I'll have to settle for this cool Jeep Wrangler Die Cast Replica.

Chapstick

I think I'm addicted to chapstick. My husband is amazed every time I finish off a stick of it, which happens fairly often because I use it all the time. He says he didn't know that people actually ever used entire sticks of chapstick because he never has.

A friend of mine used to carry around this huge jar of Vaseline when she was taking Accutane because her lips were so dry that regular lip balm wasn't enough. I've actually used Vaseline myself and it's great. It works really well, but I've also learned that people think you're weird when they see you rubbing Vaseline on your lips and it's kind of annoying because I'm never quite sure where to wipe my finger off when there's greasy Vaseline all over it.

Since Vaseline isn't ideal, I guess the best thing to use is regular chapstick. There are tons of different companies that make chapstick or lip balm, but the best one I've found is this petroleum-free lip balm. All the flavors are really good and it even has an SPF of 15, which is great if you're pasty white like me and burn after three seconds in the sun.

Carbon Fiber

My husband is in love with carbon fiber. I'm not really sure why. I don't even know what it is. He's tried to explain it to me, but it's one of those things that I don't have any interest in so I tune him out as soon as he starts talking and just nod and say "Uh huh," every so often, while I think about when Jim and Pam are finally going to get together (yet another "The Office" reference).

Dictionary.com states that carbon fiber is "a strong, stiff, thin fiber of nearly pure carbon, made by subjecting various organic raw materials to high temperatures, combined with synthetic resins to produce a strong, lightweight material used in construction of aircraft and spacecraft." Whatever. I got bored after reading "a strong, stiff, thin fiber."

I gave my husband a Triton Twist pen and a Luna Roller Ball pen and he loves them. He carries them around with him everywhere he goes. My husband isn't impressed with a lot of promotional products I tell him about that I think are really cool, but these two he loves. I guess that just like it's been said that there's someone for everyone, there is a promotional product for everyone too.

Awareness Bracelets

I've never been a trendy person except for things I think are genuinely cool. For example, in elementary school I never wore my overalls with one side connected and the other side hanging down because it looks stupid. I don't wear skirts over my jeans because what's the point of wearing both? I never watched "Beverly Hills 90210" mostly because my mom wouldn't let me, but I probably would have thought it was dumb anyway. And I have never worn an awareness bracelet, not because I don't like them, but because I don't like to be like everyone else.

I remember the first time I ever saw a silicone wristband. I bought a swimsuit at the Nike outlet in Park City and the cashier asked me if I wanted to buy a Lance Armstrong Livestrong bracelet for $1.00. I said yes because I had no idea what it was. I never wore it because a week later everyone wore one. Although I personally never got in to the awareness bracelet phenomenon, I do think it's a pretty cool idea and it's amazing to me how popular it has become to wear one. There are many different kinds of bracelets besides the basic deboss such as glow-in-the-dark, multicolor and printed.

I actually just heard about a really cool idea from a minister in a church in Missouri. He challenged his congregation to wear this purple bracelet with www.acomplaintfreeworld.org and to not complain for 21 days. Every time you complain, you have to switch the bracelet to the other hand and start over. His idea has become nationally widespread and they have sent over 800,000 bracelets to people all over the world. I thought it was such a cool idea, I ordered one myself and am planning to join the world of those who wear awareness bracelets.

(FYI: John Beck, the quarterback for BYU last year, wore a BYU awareness bracelet the entire football season. He never took it off. Maybe silicone bracelets have some sort of power where they make you throw really well).

St. Patrick's Day

I have a friend who is obsessed with St. Patrick's Day. She always goes all out with the decorations and the food and the wearing of green clothes. Every year her mom sends a big St. Patrick's Day package and she makes a huge dinner complete with corned beef and cabbage. This is the first year in six years that she won't be here (because she moved to Indiana) and I won't get to celebrate the holiday with a tasty green dinner.

(Side note: I won't be making a tasty green dinner myself because my husband refuses to eat corned beef and cabbage. He also refuses to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and refuses to wear green, but gets really mad if you pinch him for not wearing green, which means that I pinch him at least 10 times).

There are several promotional products related to St. Patrick's Day from the simple Shamrock Magnet and Shamrock Pencil to the more unique St. Patrick's Day Plant and Lucky Clover Zippo Lighter. Whether your company is associated with St. Patrick's Day or you are just looking for a fun way to promote your logo with the holiday, American Promotions can provide the perfect product for your promotion.

Cookies

I think that every single day during my freshman year of college, either me or one of my roommates would make cookies. The "freshman 15" people always talk about was more like the freshman 20 for me. My two favorite kinds of cookies we made were Molasses Crinkles (made by one of my favorite people, Shannon) and Coby Kisses, which are peanut butter cookies with a hershey kiss on top. (In case you were wondering, they're called Coby Kisses because I had a crush on a boy named Coby and in my attempts to get him to love me, I made him his favorite kind of cookies, which are peanut butter cookies with a hershey kiss on top. The cookies actually worked out a lot better than he and I did).

I think that most people love cookies as much as I do. The promotional products industry offers many different imprintable cookie jars from the Football Cookie Jar to the Red Snowman Cookie Jar to the Jack-O-Lantern Cookie Jar. There are dozens of styles to choose from as well as custom cookie jars made specifically for your company.

Patriotism

I like to think of myself as patriotic. I try to stay on top of political issues (although I will admit, I'm not as on top as I would like to be), I vote, the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays and I almost tear up when I hear "I'm Proud To Be An American," which I would argue is one of the best songs ever written. EVER. My husband would argue it's one of the worst songs ever written, but if you ever read my blog, you know we don't agree on a lot of things.

There are hundreds of promotional products related to the political industry. Whether you are looking to advertise to elect a candidate or if you just want to show that your company has American pride, there are dozens of products to choose from. A few of my favorites are the Patriotic Star Slim Mints, the Republican Elephant Stress Toy (the Democratic Donkey is available as well), and the Patriotic Compact Chair. Any of these products would be an effective way to advertise your logo and show your patriotism.

Speaking of being patriotic, I thought this was a hilarious comment made by one of my favorite people, Jay Leno...

"Here's my take on the 2008 presidential race. There's no doubt history is in the making. We may have either the first Black president, the first Woman president, or the first Mormon president. Why not kill three birds with one stone and elect Gladys Knight and call it a day?"

The Things You Can Do With A Styrofoam Cup

Yesterday my husband turned a styrofoam cup inside out. I was very impressed. How many people can turn a styrofoam cup inside out without ripping it? My guess is not very many.

That made me think about styrofoam cups in general, as well as paper cups and plastic cups. I think some companies are careful to spend their money on promotional products they think will last and be around for a while. While this is, in most cases, a good marketing move, I don't think it's a bad thing to print your logo on things like cups and napkins that will be used once and thrown away. A lot of promotional products will only be used every once in a while and the logo may be forgotten, but even using a cup or a napkin for one meal will make the logo stand out. Every time you pick up the cup to take a drink or pick up the napkin to wipe your mouth or hands, you will see and notice that logo.

How To Know When It's Thursday and When It's Friday

Once again, I am going to mention "The Office" in my blog. There's this hilarious episode where Dwight mistakenly thinks it's Friday when it's actually only Thursday (I did that today and it's the worst feeling in the world when you realize it's not the weekend). Instead of correcting him, Jim and Pam make comments all day long to make Dwight believe that it is indeed Friday and he doesn't need to go in to work the next day. He does end up going in to work, but not until after noon when he finally realizes it's actually Friday instead of Saturday.

That whole episode wouldn't have happened if Dwight had only kept a calendar on his desk. A calendar is a classic promotional product that everyone can and will use. The cool thing about calendars is that there are so many different kinds of calendars that you can appeal to anyone's taste. You can go with a traditional wall calendar or with a perpetual calendar that can be used year after year.

Little Flies

My husband gave me some pink tulips for Valentines Day. They were so pretty and they reminded me of spring, but the one bad thing about them was that they came in a pot. I don't mind watering them, but the problem is that eventually they die and it takes a few days for me to throw them away, so we get hundreds of tiny little flies everywhere.

For the past few days, I've been kiling several flies a day. Yesterday I killed one on my husband's head and I thought it was really funny, but he didn't. This morning I found one in my husband's hair gel because he didn't screw the lid back on. And on Sunday I made homemade bread and one fly kept trying to get in to the dough. It was gross, but kind of amusing. A fly swatter would have come in handy.

A fly swatter is a useful and very inexpensive promotional giveaway item. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who has ever kept plants a little longer than is necessary or who ever gets annoying flies in the house during the summer.

Stainless Steel Soap Bar

I like unique promotional products. Since I load new products on to American Promotions website every day, I love looking for products that stand out. One product that I think is really cool is the Stainless Steel Soap Bar.

I love making food with onions and garlic, but I don't like how the smell sometimes stays on my hands for hours. The purpose of the stainless steel soap bar is to reduce strong smells from your hands caused by things like onions, garlic, fish or even oranges. All you do is wash your hands with regular soap, using the stainless steel soap bar and it eliminates (or at least reduces) gross smells. Very cool.

Personally, I would never cook or touch fish because I'm pretty sure I would rather eat dirt. I had this roommate once who cooked some fish and the apartment stunk for almost a week. Nasty.

My First Thoughts On "American Idol"

So, a while ago at work, we had a company order these glow-in-the-dark frisbees with "I Love Mormons" printed on it. I have no idea who they gave them to or what they were used for, but I thought it was pretty funny and kinda cool.

I totally agree with this company; I love Mormons too! I'm a big fan of both of the Mormons on "American Idol" and I even think they would be my favorites if they weren't LDS. I love the blonde girl (whose name I can't remember at the moment) and I also really like the girl whose dad died. I think her name is Asia or something.

My favorite boys are, of course, the cute little boy from Murray (how sad is it that I'm old enough to think a 16-year old is a little boy?) and the Aussie (because that's my dog's name) and the kid with dreadlocks even though I don't think the dreads work for him at all.

I haven't been too impressed with this season so far, but I'm sure it will get better. I was, however, greatly impressed with Paula Abdul's new video. And I loved when Simon told the kid who got kicked off that he should get a good job because he could never have a singing career. You gotta love the honesty.

Mountain Biking

My husband is painting my bike this week. He paints cars for his job, so we thought we would take advantage of the easy access to a good and very inexpensive paint job. My bike is a very manly army green right now and since I am neither a man nor manly, I decided I wanted something more feminine without being too girly. We chose a deep metallic purple; it's going to look very cool.

In all the mountain biking I have done since getting engaged to my husband, I have found that one thing every serious mountain biker needs is a good hydration pack. My husband has been biking a lot longer than I have, so we spend hours on trails and in the mountains and I couldn't survive without one.

Unfortunately, my hydration pack couldn't help me last weekend when I had my first real bike crash. Besides the huge goose egg and bruise covering my left thigh and not being able to move my shoulder, it was a pretty cool crash. I'm looking forward to many more.

Rubber Ducks and Stuffed Animals

I feel like I have a basic, but pretty good idea of what promotional products are available. I have decided that pens and t-shirts are always a good idea, but if I were to receive a giveaway item from some company, I would love it to be something unique and memorable.

Some of my favorite promotional products are rubber ducks and stuffed animals. What better way is there to stand out from your competition than to imprint your logo on a rubber duck? American Promotions offers dozens of different rubber ducks with different themes. A few of my favorites are the Rubber Duck Frankenstein, Rubber Duck Santa Claus, Rubber Duck Basketball and Rubber Duck Doctor. I would definitely remember a company who gave me one of these toys.

What adult or child would not smile if they saw your company logo imprinted on a stuffed animal? Some of my favorite promotional stuffed animals are the Bull Stuffed Animal, Moose Stretcher Stuffed Animal and the Fluffy Teddy Bear. These promotional products would not be forgotten.

How To Break Up With Someone On Valentine's Day

There's a commercial on TV that I think is so funny. It's a commercial for some cell phone or telephone company and it has a guy dressed up like a bunny doing singing telegrams. He goes to this girl's house and he sings a song that says,

"Happy Valentines Day. Your boyfriend has something to say:
You're not on his network and it's costing him a fortune,
So he wants to break up today.
He wants to break up today."

I woke up today singing that song, in honor of Valentines Day, I guess.

If you're going to break up with someone on Valentines Day, you should at least give them some cool Valentines Day related promotional products like the Single Red Foiled Rose or the Softbeadz Heart Pillow. You could imprint something funny on the pillow like, "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You." (I actually stole that line from The Simpsons).

Valentine's Day Balloons

One year when I was really young, my dad bought my mom some balloons similar to the I Love You Balloon and the Happy Valentine's Day Balloon for Valentines Day. He left them in the living room and told me to watch them very carefully until my mom got home.

I thought it would be fun to tie the balloons to my wrist and take them outside to jump on the trampoline. So without asking my dad's permission, I tied them to my wrist the best I could and went outside. By the time I got to the trampoline, the balloons were about 10 feet in the air and despite my best efforts to reach them, the balloons were gone.

As I watched the balloons climb higher and higher in the sky, I stood on the trampoline and cried. I don't remember if I got in trouble or not; I just remember being heartbroken because I had lost my mom's present.

Maybe I should get my mom some balloons for Valentines Day.

The Coolest Places I've Been

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself because it seems like everyone goes on all these cool vacations and the coolest place my husband and I are going to go in the next five years is St. George. Although I think it would be awesome to go to China or Africa or Italy, I really appreciate the good old USA and if I could choose anywhere in the world, I would go to Hawaii or Alaska. But as I was thinking about all the places I would visit if I had unlimited funds, I started thinking about all the interesting places I've already been. I'm actually a very simple person and I enjoy simple things. I think of all the places I've visited, the two that I loved the most were the Notre Dame football stadium in South Bend, Indiana and the Statue of Liberty in New York City (actually, the Statue of Liberty is technically in New Jersey, but I was in New York when I saw it).

Growing up with five brothers, I watched a lot of sports and sports movies. The two favorites of my brothers' were "Hoosiers" and "Rudy." I never really got in to "Hoosiers," but I loved "Rudy." When I spent a semester in Nauvoo through BYU, I was so excited when I found out we were going to make a stop at the University of Notre Dame. Unfortunately, it wasn't football season at the time, so I wasn't able to go to a game, but I did see a football player practicing. Notre Dame was easily one of the coolest places I've been. They had this awesome cathedral and the famous Touchdown Jesus and even a statue in the middle of campus that they call First Down Moses. But my favorite part was, of course, the football stadium where Rudy Ruettiger made that winning touchdown (which actually didn't happen in real life; in reality, he played for about 10 seconds and didn't do anything that affected the game, but he's still an inspiration).

I've only been to New York City once, but I loved it and someday I'll go back. There are tons of cool things to see in New York City like Central Park, huge toy stores, the place where the Twin Towers used to be and Fifth Avenue where you can buy any clothes in the world. I even bought a fake Prada bag on the street, which I convinced the guy to let me pay $15 for, and a hot dog at a stand, which I didn't eat because I hate hot dogs, but you see people do that on TV all the time and I thought it would be cool, which it totally was. But my favorite thing of all was the Statue of Liberty, which, at the risk of sounding cheesy, is one of those things where you almost cry when you see it because it is so incredibly cool. Movies and pictures don't do it justice; it's something you have to see in person.

I'm Dreaming Of A Short Winter

I'm one of those weird people who genuinely likes winter and cold weather, but even for me there comes a time when I desperately want it to go away. I sleep with flannel sheets, an electric blanket plus three additional heavy blankets and a down comforter and I am ready to fold up a couple of those blankets and put them away.

My husband and I were talking about how all there is to do in the cold months after Christmas is watch TV (maybe that's one reason I love winter so much), but when spring and summer finally come we can go mountain biking, hiking, to the driving range and for walks and runs outside.

I'm ready to trade in my fleece blanket for my Camelbak and my barbeque.

Ah, Memories

Last night, as EJ and I were going to bed, we were talking about funny things that had happened to us. I was thinking about this group of kids that came to my elementary school from Copperton, some random city somewhere. They were really weird and all the boys had mullets.

One boy, named Cody, looked like a mouse and he had this really long mullet almost to the end of his back. He would always say really disgusting things to me that are far too gross to write on this blog. I'm not sure if he was trying to flirt with me or offend me or what.

But the funny thing that happened was with another Copperton boy with a mullet, named Shad. I walked past him on the playground after school one day and I didn't say anything to him, I don't think I even looked at him, and he punched me really hard in the stomach. It completely knocked the wind out of me and I fell on the ground. We both had to go to the principal's office and I don't remember what his punishment was, but when the principal asked him why he did it, he refused to answer. I'm convinced that he did it for one of the following three reasons: 1) He was jealous that my hair was so much prettier than his, 2) I wouldn't give in to his best friend, Cody's, advances, or 3) He was just practicing for a long life of physically abusing women.

Whatever the reason, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Shad and Cody are enjoying the inside of a jail cell for the next 15-20 years.

Anyway, it was a very traumatic day for me, so my mom let me pick out a cute Stuffed Teddy Bear at the store.

Wedding Ideas

I was mostly satisfied with all the decisions I made about my wedding reception when I got married almost a year and a half ago. I felt like my husband's and my personality were represented well (especially with Fuddrucker's catering the luncheon; I'm much more of a hamburger person than a fancy food person), but since I've been working with promotional products, I have heard of some really unique ideas for weddings and if I was getting married again, (which I never will because of the following reasons: A) planning a wedding is not as much fun as you think it's going to be, and B) I love my husband) I would definitely try to be more creative.

One of our customers wanted to get some Football Stress Toys imprinted with their name and the date of their wedding and have people throw the stress toys, instead of rice, at them as they were leaving. I thought this was such a cute idea and it would be a cool thing for the guests to keep.

Another customer wanted to get the Tennis Ball Golf Ball imprinted with the names of the bride and groom and the date of their wedding. He would have these on the table as you walk in to the reception for people to write their names on. That is so much cooler than signing your name in a book!

It's too late to use some of these ideas for my own wedding, but, even though he's very single at the moment, I'm already planning some ideas for my little brother's reception.